It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas when the likelihood of catching one of three renditions of “All I Want for Christmas” on 103.5 fm is as predictable as an 80 degree Winter day in sunny Orange County. You also know that everything is turning up Saint Nick and Hanukkah Harry (is he a thing?) when attempting to introduce the button to the button hole of your skinny jeans is much like praying for the resurgence of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo from the ghosts of TLC’s past…it’s just not happening any time soon.
While many make feeble attempts to eat “strategically” this holiday season in hopes of squeezing into that size 000 LBD when New Years Eve rolls around, to me, eating “strategically” means shifting my frozen yogurt cup around so I can pack in another ounce of cookie butter froyo before I’ve officially reached the rim of my decorative paper cup…whoops. Though rocking a pair of elasticized pants may be my reality when the ball drops, this is a sartorial fact of life I am willing to accept, as long as said elasticized pants are beglittered, bejeweled, and/or bedazzled. Thankfully finding such pants will be no trial, as store windows are lined with holiday-appropro looks that kindly forgive the season of giving…and receiving…in pounds.
Ladies, step into Christmas and into your pants.