‘Twas the Night Before Outside Lands…

…When all through Downtown,
Every creature was splurging, hipsters raided Thrift Town;
Converse were hung by their laces with care,
In hopes that rain showers dare not be there;

The Yuccies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While sounds of George Ezra strummed in their heads;
When out in the park music livens the acres,
I’ll spring from dear MUNI to run for Chet Faker!

I’ll arrive at the stage, to my galpals I’ll whistle,
And like groupies we’ll be, until the final acts fizzle.
At weekend’s conclusion, our vocal chords tight,
We’ll muster, “Happy ‘Lands to all, and to all a good night!”

Your lineup is prepared for smooth execution, your friends have magically pulled together a game plan, your bag is packed and well stocked with travel TP (srsly if you’re going to stop reading this blog then you may as well quit here, because that’s the most valuable advice you’re gonna get out of it), but one vital question remains…

SOS, what do I wear? Untitled1

As expected, yesterday’s scene downtown was how I’d imagine an average Black Friday at a Midwestern Walmart, and I’m estimating that a solid 25% of the crowd retreated with some form of bodily injury or mild PTSD. Fashionistas in search of the perfect last minute festival outfit rummaged through mud cloth-laden bins at Urban and fought to the near-death over the last pair of fluttery lashes at Sephora. The morning after the retail wreckage, my text inbox was laced with photos of friend’s loot from the evening’s shopping binge, and naturally, messages from my parents preemptively begging for proof of life at every given opportunity of cell service.


Although I’m still struggling to reassure my parents that Outside Lands isn’t, in fact, a front for a mass rave, I was able to advise my lady friends that everything they need for this weekend is probz already hiding in their closets.

Festival style is like math, and although I’m srsly incapable of speaking math as my first, second, or third language, I’m confident in hypothesizing a foolproof equation for the perfect festival outfit:

comfy (sweater) + casual (some c00l jeans n’ sneaks) + cold weather-proof (jacket) =


If you’re in search of some last minute outfit inspiration, this is what I’ll be lookin’ like this weekend:

OSL Outfits

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