Makin’ Up Is Hard To Do

When I was thirteen years old,  my mom reluctantly allowed me to start wearing makeup. Two years prior to pledging her support, I had already begun. My contraband collection of makeup from the ages of 11-12 included crumbly black eyeshadow, a whittled down nub of kohl eyeliner, and ancient samples of Clinique mascara. I was waging a dangerous game of Russian Roulette with Pink Eye (ye ole stink eye didn’t win until I was 18, by the way). Between the all black errything makeup and my Abercrombie wardrobe, I was a walking coming-of-age story about a raccoon.


In an effort to change my near-goth ways just in time for my impending Bat Mitzvah, my mom took me to the nearest Claire’s store to introduce me to *glitter*. I enjoyed my new five-tier loose glitter compact, but deep down I knew it was nothing more than a gateway cosmetic. Somewhere between the powder blue shimmer and the lilac sparkles, my nudie face became restless and I relapsed back to my old raccoon ways. By the time I was 14, I collectively had about 30 eyebrow hairs after discovering the thrills of the tweezer. Each pluck was filled with the same exhilaration of flooring the gas of a go-kart at the local mini golf park. At 16, I dyed my hair black. I fondly look back at that time as the Age of the Wig Hair. At 18, I picked up my first tube of liquid liner and tried to give that Cleopatra character a run for her money. It only took a rough decade for me to get my act together. At 24, my eyebrows have mostly resurrected themselves, and I don’t plan on returning to my wig tendencies for at least another six decades.

This fall I plan to play with makeup in a way that makes me look less like an angsty woodland creature, and more like a subtly enhanced version of myself. I am brushes-in-hand ready to take the season’s emerging beauty trends for a test drive, leaving my tweezers behind this time around. Oh, and to my thirteen year old self– glitter is baaaaack.


If I were to curate a fall 2016 makeup playlist, these would be my tunes of choice:

Bold brows. This one really has me wishing I had never discovered a pair of tweezers in my natural born life, or I would still be rocking c00l eyebrows à la Groucho Marx. What remains of my brows from the massacre of 2006 is supplemented on the daily by Anastasia Diprow, my savior in all hairy situations.

Luminous skin. Glow, baby, glow. Channel your inner JgLow by highlighting the tops of your cheekbones and T-Zone. My highlighting tools of choice for achieving total luminescence are NARS Illuminator in Copacabana, or if you prefer a powder, MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in Soft & Gentle.

Glitzy lids. Yasssssssss. Diva-glitter graced the lids, lips, and cheeks of models on fall runways, proving that glitter is awesome and that my mom is a legitimate prophet.


A berry good lip. Tried and true, the dark berry lip is back again. Stain, matte stick, and gloss were spotted strutting across all runway plains this season. Personally I am restraining my lil fingers from pulling the trigger on this sheer finish stick by NARS.

Flutterin’ lashes. I got ’em from my…daddy? Thankfully I have minimal need to supplement my lashes with much other than this drugstore mascara (which I swear by, btdubz), but on a particularly fun n’ flirty night I’ve never been one to pass up a pair of falsies. If you’re thinking of reaching for a pair, think Twiggy goals. These spidery guys are supamodel approved.

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